YuGiOh: Gone mad
by Abbie Soler Star
Summary: what happens when a crazy anime fan girl get a chance to write nonsense which includes the YGO gang? THIS! Beware Malik wannabe murder, Yugi the chocolate addict and Seto the softie? WARN: Swearing and Yaoi!
1. Default Chapter

**FWAH! I write me first Yu-Gi-Oh! Fic XD**

**Kurt: yup we're doomed**

**Wanda: Amen to that bruva --**

**Seto: she can't be that bad**

**Mokuba: Seto... look at all those coffee cups pointing at pile**

**Seto:.. Of course I could be mistaken**

**Kurt: Mistaken is an understatement**

**aw shuddup and let get things movin'!**

**WARNING BLAH: This contains total insanity and Yaoiness, dig it? Coolies...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Honestly, if I owned Yu-Gi-Oh then I would start a manga series full of Yaoi goodness (Yaoi fans: Amen to that sista!) But alas, I do not, so you will all have to make do with fanfiction (Yaoi fans: awwww...tear drop)**

Malik: ...If I was a rich girl, nanananaana...

Seto: will you SHUT UP!

Malik: pouts I'm bored!

Joey: so do us all a favour and shoot yourself.

Malik: why don't you shoot yourself?

Joey: cause I'm too blonde to die

Malik: my ass.

Joey: no my hair so NYEH!

Yugi: lets do something guys!

Ryou: how about TV? TV is our friend!

Everyone: O.O

Tristen: and this is coming from a book worm! Bordem must be killing our brain cells! WE'RE GONNA DIE! jumps outta window

Duke: NOOOOOOOOO! My shag buddy! ;-

Everyone: O.O

Ryou: all I did was suggest TV ;; sobs

Bakura: there there Ryou, he was just a waste of space anyways.

Seto: a stupid waste of space.

Joey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Seto: what?

Joey: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE!

Seto:... well you see mutt, I walked through a thing called a 'Door'...

Joey: ..+ dats not what I meant

Malik: Sings I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...

Marik: listen blonde beauty... your probably the reason why Tristen jumped through that window, because of your singing.

Malik: Eyes grows large and tears forms you mean.. I killed Tristen...

Mokuba: I thought it was Ryou.

Ryou: I didn't kill Tristen! sobs on Bakura

Bakura: oh great, thanks a lot Mokuba.

Mokuba: innocent angel look Number 15 what?

Marik: Sh! I'm trying to build up guilt here!

Malik: YAY! I killed somebody

Marik:... oh well.

Yugi: ...

Yami:...

Seto:...

Mokuba:...

Bakura:...

Ryou: ...sniffle...

Bakura: --+

Joey: munching on a bag of chips ... mmmm.. Wha? Oh yeah! Sorry.

Joey: ...

Yugi: okay... that was weird.

Malik: can I kill some more people.

Marik: Me too evil grins

Tea: jumps on Yugi, boobs suffocates Yugi Whats up my bitches!

Duke: hey! THATS MY LINE!

Mokuba: but your already in the room...

Duke: folds arm and pouts don't care, still my line...

Mokuba?

Yami: OMG! Yugi is being boobie-suffocated!

Yugi: XX

Marik: heres our chance Hikari!

Malik: Yay! Lets get her!

Tea: Yikes! runs away being chased by Malik and Marik who held sporks in their hands

Yugi: gasps for breath

Yami: AIBOU!

Yugi: The...boobs... the... the... traumatized

Yami: its okay now hikari, the boobs are being killed by sporks.

10 minutes later-

Tristen sitting in the room with a bandage round his head

Seto: well you just went on my list of stupid...

Triten: well excuse me if I wanna live!

Joey: by jumping out a window and getting unconscious?

Tristen: YEAH! smiles thats it

Joey: stupid just ain't a word for you buddy...

Seto: no its for you.

Joey: evil eyes Why are you always picking on me! -?

Seto: Because I love you 3

Tristen: EGADS! The apocolypse! is held down by Duke, but failing

Duke: NO! BAD TRISTEN! NO MORE JUMPING OUT OF WINDOWS!

Seto: What I'm human too... I have emotions!

Mokuba: I can vouch for that...

Yami: its... it's a fricken miracle... he has emotions?

Mokuba: you shoulda seen him when he was watching the care bears movie...

Everyone: wha?

Joey:... he loves me?

Seto: OO petrified, everyone knows his secret Oh sweet blue eyes and french cheese on toast! Now everybody knows! There's only one thing for it! pulls out a small container I must take these cyanide pills! pours a hand full into his mouth Wahahaha...

Ryou: ACK! He's gonna die!

Mokuba: noooooooooo! Big brother ;;

Seto: See you in hell lousers!... Except for Mokuba! You better go to hevan or your grounded!

5 minutes later-

Seto:... I just realized something.

Yami: and what would that be?

Seto: those pills were tic tacs...

Yugi, Mokuba + Ryou: YAY! Seto will live and have babies with Joey! dances

Bakura: --+ baka...

Seto: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CYANIDE?

Joey: blinks you...love... me?

Yugi: uh... Joey... did you know what has happened in the last 5 minutes?

Joey: snaps out of the trance wha? What happened?

Seto: stupid dog...

Joey: what?

Mokuba: you were standing there and not knowing what was going on?

Joey: Whaaat? WHAT? C'mon guys, tell me!

Mokuba: oh nothing, other than the fact my brother was going to kill himself!

Ryou: but instead got a minty freshness breath.

Joey: oh thats nice... WHAT!

Seto:...you... are a real ass hole you know that.

Joey: YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?

Bakura: you were standing right there Joey, you moron...

Seto: wait! This means that he doesn't know about the care bears. I'm saved well thats it, I'm off to walmart...

Joey: NOOO SETO! I must go with you, incase you try to kill yourself again!

Seto: Mutt, I will not need to be escorted to a supermarket... they don't let dogs into the store.

Joey: Its okay Seto, just pretend to be blind and no one will say anything.

Seto: OO Fuck! He's becoming immune to my dog jokes. Only one thing for it...

Mokuba: and what would be that brother?

Seto already out of the house and half way down the street

Seto: yelling RUN MOKUBA! RUN LIKE A MONKEY ON FIRE!

Mokuba:... guess I'll be going. Later dudes leaves

Yugi: that was weird...

Joey: being held back by Yami Seto! NUUUOOOO! Lemme be with Seto!

Yami: no Joey, let Seto go. He needs to be free in his own environment...

image of Seto skipping through the offices like Bambi in the woods. Workers act like wood land creatures

Joey: but... what if the hunters who killed Bambi's Mommy go after him?

Yami: then he'll let hell louse... and set caffeinated Mokuba on them.

Joey: oh...

Malik and Marik enters, dragging Tea behind them

Malik: sings we got her!

Marik: she's still alive though. And she has something to say...

both pull Tea up. Malik waves a Spork at her threateningly

Malik: say it...

Tea: I like to say to Yugi that I'm sorry for suffocating him with my boobs...

Marik: go on.

Tea: and I promise that I shall never do it again. I shall turn gay instead to preserve the yaoiness between Yugi and Yami. This goes for every guy in the room.

Malik: there that wasn't so hard.

Tea: I can't feel my legs.

Marik: well if you stopped like we asked you to, we wouldn't have had to use that bull dozer to get you.

Tea: wa... faints

Malik: oh, Tristens alive... sniff so I didn't kill anybody...

Marik: in good time hikari, all in good time.. There will be some one we can kill.

Malik: hooray!

tumble weed rolls by

Duke: now its boring again.

Yugi: snakes and ladders anybody?

Bakura: I rather shag a tree.

Ryou: what about me? ;;

Bakura: your offering? Alright! drags Ryou out the room

Ryou: Blushes oh my.

Yugi: how about you... Malik? Marik? Where did they go?

Yami: they went off doing something we should be doing...

Yugi: wha? Whats that then? Yami whispers in his ear Yami!...but do we have enough chocolate for it?

Yami: kisses anythings possible. carries Yugi out the room bridal style

Duke:...

Tristen:...

Duke: well?

Tristen: what?

Duke: GAAAH! You are totally totally clueless! walks out but walks back to hit Tristen on the head

Tristen+ what did I do? falls unconscious

Joey: looks around aw... wheres Seto when ya need him... sniffles

Tea: XX

Joey: sings Lonely, Mr Lonely, I got nobody, I'm all on my own...

Dragon Camera watches Joey. Seto sitting watching him

Seto: I shall have you my pretty... soon... FWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mokuba: enters Seto! Sponge Bob Square pants is on Tv. I also got you some milk and cookies.

Seto: YIPPE! Cookies! Runs out of room. Quickly pokes head through door took look at camera screen with Joey still singing Soon my pretty puppie dog soon...

Mokuba: Seto! The Shows starting!

Seto: WAH! Wait for me!

**There ya go, Insanity with cheese**

**Kurt: pain pain pain pain...**

**Wanda: I've got a brain ach**

**Seto: stupidity overload...**

**Exscues me! are you implying that I'm stupid?**

**Seto: no, I'm implying that your super intelligent :P how could you make me act that way! you have left me no dignity!**

**Aw come on, its only fanfiction.**

**Mokuba: poor Tea...**

**Kurt: theres more swearing than usual... is Abbie growing up.**

**Very unlikely you snufflelump!**

**Kurt:...yeah --**

**Review if ya hate or if you love or if your just plain insane**


	2. EGADS! Joey's been kidnapped!

Oh my gwad... I actually got reviews.

Kurt: only two... your still lame.

Don't care, I is de smart ladee!

Seto: Stop being such a lazy cow and spell things properly!

silence

Wanda: why is she quiet... its scary when she's quiet... I'm scared! MOMMY!

Whatever, lets get this going.

Disclaimer: I do not own Amy Lee's panties OR Johnny Depp Soul!

Ryou:... what do they have to do with this then?

Absolutely diddly squit!

Seto: riiiiiigggght...

BOO! Another cruddy but totally irrelevant to sanity day in the park with Malik, Duke, Ryou, Yugi and Joey (You lucky koalas, you get to know whos actually there!)...

Yugi: sings LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Malik: ... that sucked.

Yugi: pouts but it makes me oh so cute! ;;

Ryou: isn't this a great idea that we could go out while the crazy and manlier guys -including Tea- could go to the pub.

Joey: blinks why didn't ya call it a bar instead of 'pub'?

Ryou: cause the insane teenage poptart-eating-girl who is controlling our lives through fanfiction, is too lazy to remember to drop her London Slang...

Everyone minus Ryou?? ...

Ryou: "all the worlds a stage, and men and women are mearly players..." -William Shakespeare

Everyone: ... tumble weed rolls past with a hamster traped inside

Hamster: help me, heeellp meeeee... rolls into the distance

Ryou: ...cookies anyone?

Yugi: YAY!

Malik: Yum!

Joey: I also say yum!

suddenly a metal blue eyes dragon flows down near the gang

Duke: OMG!WTF?BBQ!

Yugi: O.O what in the name of all things sane!

Malik: GAH! It's going to eat us!... cool!

Ryou:... Hey! I thought there wasn't going to be any dragons in this fic.

All-powerful-author: I lied, I lied, bwahaha!

Joey: excuse me, but, who the hell are you?

All-powerful-author: ummm ' just some passer by... passing by! flees

Duke: what a weird person...

Yugi: Oh Gods, will SOMEBODY help me hold Malik back!

Malik: but it's SOOOOO shiny! I wanna touch it!

Ryou: also holding back Malik please Malik! Self control, just like you talked about with the nice doctor in that 'special house'

Malik: but its so shiny, it makes me feel happy.

Yugi and Ryou being dragged as they hold on to Maliks legs

Yugi and Ryou: WAAAAAH! ;;

Malik: I will love him, I will hug him and I will call him Mr Shiny shine! turns to Duke with a psychotic grin I will, I will!

Duke: oQ I wanna go home Wails

Joey: what the frick! The dragon opening up!

silence

Malik: happy feeling gone

Ryou: wait, I do believe that someone is stepping out of it.

Malik: Oh Me Cheese! The he is a she... shes a Mommy!

Yugi: you'd think he would have figured out that the dragon isn't really a dragon... --+

Seto steps out with a rope

Seto: HERES KAIBA! XD

Joey: and there goes the thoughts of Kaiba not getting any more weirder and creepy than he already is.

Duke: and there goes the need for the toilet

everyone take a step away from Duke

Seto: YOU, MUTT! Grins madly You're mine now...

Joey: wha? Hey whaddya mean... gets a rope hoped around him and gets pulled towards Kaiba WAAAAH! OQ, I'm being kidnaped!

Seto: grabs hold of Joey nu-uh, puppy-napped. pulls into the dragon plane... thing! Which flies away into the distance

...tumble weed with hamster still inside rolls past

Hamster: Dammit! Help meeeeeee!

Everyone:... oo

Duke: what has happend?

Yugi: Joey... he's been...

Malik: birdy goes bye bye!

Ryou: ...kidnapped!

Yugi: we need to get the others from the pub... blinks I mean, from the bar and rescue Joey!

Malik: weeeeeeh, I know what a chickens bladder looks like

Duke: whats up with him?

Ryou: sighs looks like Marik forgot to give Malik his medication...

Malik: sings I know a song that can get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves...

Yugi: no time! We gotta save Joey!

Ryou: believe me, there will ALWAYS be time for Malik to take his medication.

Yugi: but, who knows what Kaiba could be doing to poor poor Joey!

over at Kaiba's mansion

Joey: is tied to the bed what are you gonna do to me Kaiba?

Seto: oooh Joey, we are gonna have so much fun, after all... scoots over to Joey and strokes Joey's thigh ...we are in the bed room...

Joey: huh? What the... No! Get away Kaiba! Shoo! Get a... ohh... Setooo...mmmm...

back to the park, with Duke, Yugi, Ryou and Malik running to the Bar

Yugi: we're coming for you Joey! Even if it means staying up really late, we will save you!

Malik: wheeeeee! Follow the butterflies you monkeys!

well thats done!

Kurt: I wanna get paid!

Well you are not going to get paid, so get over it!

Kurt: sulks TT

Ryou: please nice readers, will you review this... Abbie has a way of tourturing us by singing... so please, as one of Yu-Gi-Oh!'s most adorable Bishie... please review puppy eyes

sings And she wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilll be looooooved!

Ryou: tear drops pleeeaaase!


	3. Getting out the Bar? yeah right!

**Abbie singing CRUCIFY MY LOVE! LA LA LA LA LA...**

**Ryou: sobs when will it end? When will it end?**

**Kurt: when the fat lady sings... so we gotta put weight on Abbie!**

**Seto: Feh. Or you could do it my way... turns to Abbie OI! You! You're fat!**

**Abbie blinks. Pokes her belly. Then walks over to Seto and pokes him, Wanda and Ryou Tee hee! You are all pokable!**

**Kurt:...real nice genius...**

**Seto: shut up... at least she stopped singing...**

**Now I start writing!**

**Everyone: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Thanks everyone who reviewed XD! Its what I live for... well not really... but we'll just say I do for the sake of reviews **

**lets begin!**

-At the Bar where Tristen, Tea, Yami, Marik and Bakura are-

Yami: giggles. hey guys look at me! I'm a teapot AND the king of games!

Bakura: yeah well I'm the king of thieves! So nah! sticks out tongue

Yami: no ways! hic Everybody knows that Alibaba is the king of thieves you stupid cheese eating chiwawa!

Bakura: I resent that! Just wait til I order another glass of milk, then I'll shove it up the kabootski! falls off chair

Tristen: looks down and pokes Bakura with stick... Guys, Bakura is on the floor again...

Marik: chugs beer down and slams on to table. Who cares! Lets all go and sign up to be sailors!

Tea: burps. HELL NO! I wanna for fill my dream before doing that... I WANNA BE A POLE DANCER!

Yami: OO For the love of Ra, don't do that! This is a gay bar!

Tea: stops in mid dance...wah?

Tristen: ...Wah?

Marik: what? You thought we would go to a normal bar? Shame on you! Then where would all the cute guys in skirts be?

Noah: In a happier place...

Yami: Noah! What in the heck are you doing here? And why are you dressed up as a french maid?

Noah: don't ask, please don't ask... I'm already seriously considering suicide... this is no way to live!

Tristen: why? Whos making you dress up?

Noah: some weird English fan girl, who said that she would tell everyone about my Mokuba shrine... blinks... I've gone and told everyone out loud haven't I...

Tea: twirling around with panties on her head. YEEEEP!

Noah: excuse me, but I must really find a really sharp object to kill myself with now...

Marik: aw don't do that... puts arm around Noah...cause you're my best friend in the WHOOOOOOOLE world!

Stranger: I thought I was your best friend?

Marik: dude, that was sooo 2 minutes ago...

Bakura: Noah...giggles. I can see up your skirt

Noah: blushes. WAAAAH! I'm surrounded but freaks! runs away

Marik: curses, he escaped!

Bakura: I found a penny! jumps up all happy. Go me! I'm gonna get good good good good good luck!

Yugi, Duke, Malik and Ryou burst in

Duke: this better be the right bar... otherwise I'm going home!

Ryou: out of breath. this is the 300th bar... how many bars are there in this world?

Yugi: It doesn't matter cause they're here!

Yugi, Ryou and Malik quickly changes in to cheer leader costumes with pom poms

Yugi: YAY!

Ryou: YAY!

Malik: CHICKEN!

Malik: I mean... YAY!

Duke: and the point of that was...?

Yugi: it was for no reason whatsoever...

Ryou: pointless comic relief -- sighs

Yami: hey look! A girl who looks like Yugi

Yugi: thats because I am Yugi...

Yami: no way. My Yugi is a sexy little boy... not a girl. pats Yugi on the head. Girlie girl town is across the road...

Yugi quickly changes back to his normal clothes, aswell as Ryou

Yugi: see its me! Now theres something we got to tell you...

Yami: grabs Yugi. Wait Yugi I want to tell you something! You are a very sexy and cute guy...

Yugi: thats very nice Yami, but Joey needs our...

Yami: And I wanna marry you and have babies!...

Yugi: Yami, seriously, Joey needs our help!...

Yami: YOU ARE IN ALL MY WET DREAMS! XD

Yugi:...

Yugi: okay Ryou, your turn...

Ryou: I'm trying to... Bakura... pokes Bakura

Bakura stand up straight and stares at Ryou... in a psycho grin way of course!

Bakura: look Ryou, a Penny!

Ryou: O.O... Mummy...

Bakura: shiny shine Penny sings La la la la la la la la...all shiny and miney...

Ryou: Traumatized

Malik: HI Marik!

Marik:... you are in a skirt... kinky

Malik: Squee! Lets shag!

Marik: Yeah!

Marik and Malik runs to bathroom. Duke and Tristen left alone together

Duke:..so...

Tristen:...so...

Duke: your'e in a gay bar...

Tristen: geez remind me why don't you...

Duke: you mean, you didn't know this is a gay bar?

Tristen: All Marik said was that he was taking us somewhere for a really good time.

Duke: and gay bar didn't come to mind?

Tristen: well you see... DOH!

Duke: I rest my case... you're an idiot!

Yugi: Everyone!

silence

Yugi: Joey needs our help! Kaiba has kidnapped him and we are his only hope of escape!

Yami: Yugi-chan is right! We must face Kaiba... IT'S DESTINY!

Tristen: Oh come on! To you everything is destiny

Yami: Shut up, I'm the Pharaoh AND king of games! FWAH! boinks Tristen on the head

Tristen: XX not again...passes out

Duke: Dammit, he wasn't even drunk!... maybe this is my chance to grope him!

Tea: ewww... gross...

Yaoi Fan girls: SHUT UP! beats up Tea

Tea: who... the hell... were they?

Mai: aw! Who hurt my Tea!

Tea: wah?

Mai hug Tea into her breasts

Mai: I'll take care of you

Tea: XX is dragged off by Tea

Yugi: come on guys

Bakura: well since the shiny penny is on our side... we cannot louse! Ku Ku Ku Ku Ku...

Ryou: I wish he didn't get drunk...

Bakura: aw shaddup... smooches Ryou

Ryou: maybe it's not so bad after all. blushes

Yugi: wheres Malik and Marik?

Malik and Marik enters the room. Malik only wearing a skirt, sock and shoes - meaning no shirt Malik fan girls!

Malik: we're here

Ryou:... Malik are you going out dressed like that?

Marik:evil glare of death. Got a Problem with it?

Ryou: WAAH! Bakura! Scary ;;

Bakura: OI! No scaren' my Hikari you cat poop eater! falls on to Ryou

Ryou: OO Meep!

Yugi: Duke can you carry Tristen?

Duke: I can but...

Yugi: But what! Joey Could be in serious tourture by now and we're still at the bar!

Duke: ...well... Wails I'M MEANT TO BE THE UKE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP! ;; Sobs

Ryou: ...uke?

Yugi: stress level... rising...

Yami: don't stress Yugi, Yami is here

Yugi: oh... well that takes a million tons off my shoulders --+ — sarcasm

Yami: Alright team! Lets go save Joey! Falls over

Yugi: okay, now I really am unhappy...

Ryou: lets just take them back to the game shop, give them all a chance to get over being drunk, and giving Malik his medication. Then we can start formulating a plan!

Yugi: it's the best idea I've heared all day... Noah, could you help us move these guy to my house?

Noah:...

Noah: IN A FRENCH MAID OUTFIT!

Yugi: look... clutches fists... as much as I hate fighting... I am sincerely stressed at this moment of time... so making me angry will only cause me to go crazy... DO YOU WANT YUGI TO GO CRAZY! DO YOU!

Noah: no sir, no thank you sir... I'll gladly help you with all my free will sir...

Yugi: good...

Ryou: right... To the game shop!

Everyone who's awake: YEAH!

- at Seto Kaiba's place-

Joey: ohh... SETOOOOO!

Seto: having a good time puppy...

Joey: yes...

Seto: licking behind neck ...yes what?

Joey: Yes... OH! Master!

Seto: I'm enjoying this

Mokuba: Knocking on the door. Seto? What are you doing in there?

Seto: my homework!

Joey still handcuffed

Joey: oh so now I'm homework... I suppose we gonna start playing Teacher and student...

Seto: Hush puppy!

Mokuba: Hush puppy?

Seto: yes! Thats the awnser of number 99! Just figured it out!

Mokuba: oh okay... just letting you know that Sponge Bob Square Pants is on in a minute... leaves

Seto:...

Joey: what? Are you finally considering letting me go now?

Seto: no... I'm making a choice... more funky bed fun or Spondge Bob... Argh! Lifes little Dilemmas!

Joey: you could let me go home?

Seto: but you were having such fun. Winks

Joey: Ugh! blushes. Yeah but... well, yea, but uh... oh...

Seto: GAH! He looks more sexy this way But Spondge Bob is on TV...

stares at Joey blushing like mad

Seto: Aw hell with it attacks Joey

Joey: AAAH! Seto... ooo...

**TA-DAAA!**

**Ryou: how many people have told you that you are weird?**

**Other than my family?... loads of people **

**Kurt: yeah great... lets go! I wanna get some food!**

**Alwright! We iz having fish an' chips tonight XD**

**Everyone: YAAAY!**

**Please review! Or else Ryou shall... **

**Bakura: evil glare. no threatening my Hikari's life!**

**Uh... Or Ryou will have to eat Porridge!**

**Ryou: I actually like porridge...**

**Shut up! I'm trying to get people to review! sighs just click the magic box which allows you to review this chappie **


End file.
